Create a Happy Marriage without your Husband’s Knowledge- pt. 2

Shifting your perception of how connection is created can help you experience deep feelings of intimacy with your husband, no matter what he is doing or how he is being in the moment.

We are coming out of a period of time where we learned that intimacy and connection come from “ sharing information”:  your feelings and your personal history.  Talking and sharing was greatly encouraged as a way to feel close to someone.  This was like a developmental step for our culture.  It was needed, but it is not the truth of authentic, deep connection.  That comes from connecting through your Core Essence, the deepest, unchanging apect of yourself. 

You could view your Core Essence as your Divine Self.  When you relate and live from your Core Essence, there’s a subtle, yet very dramatic difference.  It’s actually another state of reality that you’re in, but you’re still in the mainstream reality as well.  Some people refer to it as being in life, but not of it.  

So how does this relate to your marriage?  You are able to connect with your husband without being dependent upon the sharing of information, it’s about experiencing who you both are, underneath all of that. So that’s the illusion you have to shift in order have to take this next step. You must realize that  you don’t have to physically see each other or “catch up” on what’s been happening with each other in order to experience a deep connection.  We used to rely on physical presence, or knowing the details of someone’s life, in order to feel connected to them.  If you were really intimate, you would know about the other person’s wounds, or you’d be sexually active with them.  That really created a sense of intimacy, and separation from others as well!  This was who you shared your inner feelings and your body with, and these were all of the people that you did not.  That delineated who you were intimate with and who you were not.  Guess what?  That is not true when you connect through your Core Essence.  It’s totally inclusive,  and it’s a wonderful new frame of reference for what intimacy really is. 

Now I’m not saying that communication is not necessary sometimes in order to clear up misunderstandings.  And I’m not saying that there isn’t something worthwhile in being sexually monogamous.  However, viewing these things as the primary method of facilitating authentic, intimate connection is what’s shifting.  I can now feel most intimately connected with my husband when we are sitting quietly at the table and I am experiencing Who He Is, his Core Essence.  I also can experience that same level of intimacy with my friends who are in another country, even if I haven’t seen or spoken to them in many months.  I can also experience it with a stranger I see on the street, immediately and profoundly, if I am in my Core Essence.  You see, intimacy is not related to what you’re actually doing, it’s how you’re Being, and how you’re experiencing the present moment.  That’s the new frame of reference.  You truly can experience profound levels of intimate connection with many people, not just your “closest” friends and your spouse.  I’m telling you, once you start experiencing this, actually living it, and not just reading about it, your life changes drastically! 

So invite yourself into this new frame of reference.  Practice getring used to the idea.  Next week I will give you some concrete exercises that you can do to help you experience your Core Essence.  This week, just allow yourself to be in an openhearted space with your partner, while you ignore the mind chatter and story lines that come up to prevent you from doing this.  And as always, your questions and comments are most welcome!

Tagged as: Apect, Being In The Moment, Core Essence, Deep Feelings, Divine Self, Dramatic Difference, Frame Of Reference, Happy Marriage, Illusion, Inner Feelings, Intimacy, Knowledge, Mainstream Reality, Marriage, Misunderstandings, New Frame, Perception, Period Of Time, Personal History, Physical Presence, Truth, Wounds